One by One, I'm Left Alone
by leveragus
Summary: Nate has finally gone too far and he loses everyone around him. Will he be able to put the team back together? takes place after the cross my heart job


**A/N I'm back! Sorry I've gone AWOL in these months, but RL kept me really busy plus I had a bit of a writer's block because I was too exhausted to write! But I'll be starting writing the fics I've left behind again, I hope you're all still interested!**

**This is the fic I've wrote for Leverage reverse Big Bang. It was inspired by alinaandalion's art. Check out the leverage video: Forget it. **

**One by one, I'm left alone.**

Nate tossed his drink with one big sip and quickly poured a second glass, followed soon by a third. He was used by the feeling, the strong alcohol no longer burnt his throat. He was sitting alone at McRory's. The barman had left hours before as it was long past midnight. He really did it this time. He was alone. One by one they all left. It was only a matter of time before he finally lost control and that the only people that cared about him; his family; had had enough and went their separate ways.

But that was what he wanted, wasn't it?

The first one to leave had been their protector and with their defences gone it didn't take long before everything else crumbled around them.

Nate took another sip. It all started with that mission. He made the fatal mistake to ask too much.

**Three week earlier...**

_Bang. _

Nate felt his head bounce back with the impact of the fist. Head down, he spat the blood from his split lip. In pain, he lifted his head up and watched his attacker through his blurred vision. The tight cuffs, which held his arms behind the chair he was sitting on, were cutting through his skin. The signs on his wrists were going to be there for days.

"Who are you working for?" a tall muscler man standing at the back of his attacker asked him again. He lost count of how many times he has been asked that question.

Nate couldn't really make out his face. Both because of his vision and the fact that the misterious figure was lurking in the dark.

With a nod of his head the man order his attacker to make him talk.

_Bang. _

This time he hit his right side and Nate could already feel the bruise forming and maybe one or two cracked ribs under it.

He whinced in pain but never made a sound. First rule: never show signs of weakness. His hitter had taught him that. The same hitter that was now treating him like a punching bag.

Nate opend his eyes. His blue eyes met the blue ones of his right side man, his family... a brother.

A silent message passed through them. It was time for him to talk.

"Okay," he struggled to get the words out. "I'll talk" he coughed.

"Talk!" the back man shouted.

"What do I get in return?" Nate whispered presumptuously.

"How about my man here doesn't break something more permanent!"

Nate slowly nodded. Seemed like a fair compromise.

"I work for Todd Baxter."

"I knew it!" The man in the dark shouted angrily. "That bastard is going to pay." he opened the door of the cell. "Get rid of him!" he ordered Eliot.

"Hey" the hitter protested. "Nobody told me about killing anyone. I thought I had been hired as a retrieval specialist and bodyguard"

The man turned and finally came under the light. With the eye that wasn't swallowed Nate could finally see him. There was the man they were going after: John Roslin.

Roslin pointed a menacing finger at Eliot. "You have a problem with it? From what I've heard Eliot Spencer doesn't think twice about getting rid of loose ends!" He smirked "If not, I can always ask one of my men to take care of both of you"

Eliot didn't back off. "I'm just saying it's going to cost more. This wasn't part of the arragement"

"Fine. Glad we came to an agreement"

"I'm not doing it here, though. This place will soon be compromised. The Interpole has been sniffing around. I don't like it."

Roslin nodded agreeing with him. "Fine. Do it your way as long as it's done" Then he turned towards Nate. "Well, it was nice meeting you Alan Wood. I hope this will send a message to Baxter: never send one of his men to con me again" and he left the room.

Eliot turned towards the mastermind and opened his cuffs.

"Hang on Nate" he whispered in his ear. "It's nearly finished."

He lifted him up and dragged him outside "Come on."

Two of Roslin's men were waiting next to the door. "Do you need help?" one of them asked

"Nah, he can barely stand." Eliot chuckled. "I'll just take care of him and meet you at the residence."

The thugs nodded and Eliot took Nate outside the warehouse where there was car parked. He laid Nate in the back and took the driver seat.

After making sure they hadn't been followed, he took a right turn into an isolated unmade road that led to the country. After a couple of miles he saw Hardison's van parked in the middle of the fields.

He stopped his car right next to it. Hardison and Sophie were the first to get off the van.

"Oh Nate," the grifter whispered after seeing the state the mastermind was in. She lifting him from the back seat and helped him towards the van.

"Ouch, Sophie. A bit more gentle" he protested with a groan.

"I'll show you gentle. I should hit you for this crazy idea of yours" she scolded him.

"Man," Hardison whistled "you really made a number on him"

"Hey," Eliot shouted angrily. "I tried to be careful. I didn't make severe damages, but it had to seem real."

"Okay, man." Hardison put his hands up in defence. "Chill out" He took out laptop and some documents.

"This is what you'll need. From now on Alan Wood his officially dead" He gave him the evidence. "Are you going to be alright by yourself in the gang?" Hardison asked worried.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just make sure that Nate rests and takes care of himself."

They watched Sophie carefully treating Nate's cuts and bruising. Parker was curiously watching Nate complain and moan in pain. She would occasionally try to pock his injuries, but Sophie would slap her hand away.

Hardison smirked. "I think Sophie has got that covered."

"Okay, I'll better go. See you in a couple of days when we'll take them both down"

"Be careful!" the hacker went inside the van.

"Bye Sparky" Parker waved from the back.

Eliot watched them drive off. Now it was up to him.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Eliot went back to Roslin's villa. The two shrugs were waiting for him.

"So, did you do it?" one of them asked grinning.

"Yeah," he tried to force a grin on his face. "The poor bastard tried to beg for his life."

The two laughed. "I bet he even peed in his pants!"

"That's what you deserved for being a snitch."

Eliot suddenly felt his hands burning. He looked down and saw that they still had Nate's blood on them and they began to feel heavy. The sticky blood felt like a burden.

"I'm going to wash up my hands and retire for the night." He threw the file at the large bald shrug. "Give this to your boss" and rushed into his room. He went to straight for the bathroom trying to clean the blood. He watched the running water turning from bright red to a shade of pink until it was finally clear, but he couldn't stop scrubbing his hands with the soap. He could still hear Nate's groans of pain. He hated every punch he threw at him. Suddenly he felt a bile rise from his stomach and he barely reached the toilet before empting his stomach. His face and shirt were drenched with sweat and he was breathing heavily. The memories and the nightmare from that evening will be certainly following him for years, just like every memory of every person he had hurt.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Eliot entered Nate's apartment. He saw the mastermind slowly coming down from the stairs. He grimaced while he was holding his side. The hitter felt the guilty run through him.

"Hey, how is it going?" he finally asked when Nate reached the bottom of the stairs.

The side of his undamaged lip slightly curled up. "I had better days!" He slowly worked towards the kitchen.

"Can I help you with something?"

"Please don't. This is time first time I can actually do something on my own since Sophie left to buy groceries" he open the fridge to get a bottle of water. Since he was under medication he was forbidden to drink any alcoholic drinks. Sophie made sure they disappeared from the house.

"Listen Nate," Eliot inhaled heavily. "I need you not to ask me to do something like this anymore."

"Something like what?" he snapped.

"Hit one of you guys on purpose." he answered looking straight into his eyes seriously.

Nate just shrugged. "What different does it make? A punch is just a punch, you should be used to it."

Eliot got angry. "Is that how you see me? I'm just your attack dog? I'm not that guy anymore!" he pointed a finger at him. "Every time I was hitting you, I was hurting too. This team is not just some job. You are my family and I don't want to hurt my family" he shouted.

"What do you want me to say? That I regret asking you to do it?" Nate shouted back "For the greater of the job, everybody needs to make sacrifices." Nate commented coldly. "So no, I can't promise you that you won't have to do something you don't like again. You can either deal with it or don't"

Eliot shook his head. "You know what... you might be able to live like that, but I can't. I promised myself not to." He looked down like he was struggling with a decision. "So, if you keep going towards this path, you'll do it without me" And he stormed off the apartment.

In that moment Sophie came back from shopping and curiously watched Eliot leaving the apartment with an angry and sad look.

"What happened here?" she asked Nate slightly upset.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"What do you mean he quit the team?" Hardison shouted at Nate.

The hacker and Parker came rushing after Sophie called them telling them there was a family emergency.

"He left" Nate replied unemotionally.

"Eliot would not just quit! What did you say to him?" He got angrier.

"What happened in here it will remain between Eliot and I"

The other three looked down disoriented. No one knew what to say or how to act.

Suddenly Parker, who had stay quiet during the confrontation, got up and ran towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Sophie called back.

"I'm going to talk with sparky"

Hardison jumped from his seat too. "I'll come with you!" he followed her.

Sophie turned towards Nate who was indifferently sitting at the kitchen table and sipping his drink.

"What did you tell him Nate?" she insisted.

"Nothing you have to worry about. He might come back"

Hardison and Parker quickly arrived at Eliot's apartment but everything had gone. It looked like nobody ever lived there.

Parker looked around disoriented and started panicking. "I can't believe it! He's really gone" She fought back her tears.

Hardison too stood there with his mouth open and stared into space. He subconsciously put an arm around Parker and held her tight. His brother had just left. "We will find him and we will bring him back, mama. I'll promise you that"

But the chances of Eliot coming back were slim as he left the apartment, threw his phone out so Hardison couldn't track him and did what he knew best: make himself disappeared.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

More than a week had passed since Eliot left the team. Hardison had tried every day to find him, most of the days he had worked until late, but with no results. One day he finally gave up. The hitter, for now, was gone.

After he had finally recovered, Nate came to them with a case. It was their usual case; a poor woman had been scammed and they needed to retrieve some documents from a safe. But this time it was different. This time they didn't have Eliot to watch their backs.

"This is crazy!" Hardison shouted at Nate. "You want to send Parker in that office alone, without back-up"

"It's not different from any other job she ever did. Eliot was usually only there as a precaution. Nothing ever happened."

"Because Eliot was there to make sure it didn't" Hardison retorted back. "I'll go inside too. I'll keep an eye on things."

"No, I need you in the van to do what you do best. Sophie and I will distract the mark while Parker goes through his safe, easy"

Hardison just shook his head. "I have a bad feeling about this"

They girls had stayed quiet during their discussion. Things have been tense since Eliot had gone. Parker was sad all the time and mostly stayed alone. She occasionally looked at the door hoping to see her favorite hitter walk through it.

Sophie felt lost. Nate kept drinking all the time. His problem with alcohol was getting worse. He practically stayed all night drinking at the bar and he would come in the bedroom completely wasted and collapse on the bed. At the forth night, she had left his house and never spent another night there. The team was falling apart and she didn't know what to do. Hardison had been right, she had bad feeling about this too.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Parker started panicking. "No, no, no" she quickly run out of the office trying to find an escape route.

"Parker!" Hardison nervous voice came through her com. "Get out there, now!" he shouted.

"What do you think I'm doing!" she whispered back harshly. She looked behind the wall and saw a guard running by. "Are Sophie and Nate out?"

"Yes, now we have to get you out!" The alarms kept ringing in all the building. "I've called the elevator for you. It should be at your floor in about 20 seconds. Can you reach it?"

"I think so" she kept looking for the guards.

Unfortunately Hardison video feed had been cut off and he couldn't help her.

"Now Parker!" he ordered.

She heard the elevator bell and rang towards. She was safety inside it when she felt a straight pain on her left shoulder. She remembered the feeling. That wasn't the first time she felt it.

She rushed outside the building and climbed inside Hardison's van. "Go!" She shouted.

"Parker, is that blood?" he asked freaking out while driving.

"Yes, I've been shot!" and she put her right hand on her shoulder trying to stop the bleeding. "God, it hurts!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Hardison entered Nate's apartment slamming the door behind him. He was angry, actually the more appropriate word would be furious. His eyes were dark and cold and the expression on his face hard as stone.

"How could you have been so irresponsible?" he shouted pointing a finger at the mastermind.

Nate was sitting at the table, a drink in his hand. "How is Parker?" he asked before taking a sip of his drink.

"How is Parker? How is Parker?" Hardison repeated unbelievably. "She was shot. Somebody actually shot her. Fortunately it was just a graze but it could have worse. This wouldn't have happened if Eliot had been there. But no, you had to make him furious and insult him so now we are without a hitter. And of course you just had to take this job even if it was dangerous sending Parker without back-up. So here…" he threw a mini drive on the table. "There's your precious evidence for your client." He signed frustrated. "I don't think I can do this anymore. Parker could have died in there. Maybe next time it will happen to Sophie, or even me. I know that you no longer care what happens to you, but I'd like to stay alive and I care about my friends and family." It had been a tough decision but it was something he had to do. "I don't feel safe anymore. I can't trust you to keep us safe, so I'm leaving the team. This was my last job."

He waited for some kind of reaction from the mastermind, but Nate just kept staring at his glass. After a minute of silence that seemed ages, the hacker just sighed . " I see you don't care, so why do I bother staying. It was good knowing you Nate, have a nice life."

Hardison left the apartment wondering if that was really the last time he would have been there. He couldn't stop the tears running down his face.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

When Hardison entered his apartment, he immediately saw Parker curled up on the couch. It frighten him the idea that he could have lost her earlier.

Parker looked up when she heard the door closing. "Hey, how did it go with Nate?"

Hardison sighed. "It didn't go." He sat on the chair next to the couch. "Nate has lost it. I don't recognize him anymore. It was bad when Sophie left, but in this last month he has been so distant."

"I know. I wonder what happened"

"I don't know and frankly I don't care. I can't trust him and he is no longer the man I want to work with. I'm leaving the team, Parker"

"But, you can't. Where are you going to go? What are you going to do?" she looked down. "What I'm going to do?"

"Parker, you won't change my mind. I can't stay here."

"Then I'll come with you!"

"Really?" he smiled.

She shrugged "Yeah, no point staying in the team if you're not there. We will be a team; you and I"

He suddenly felt better about his future. "Yeah, just you and I" he hugged her

"I'm going to miss Sophie, though" she whispered in his shoulder.

He was going to miss his family.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Nate was sitting in the desert bar. He swirled the brown liquid in the glass in his hands. He still hasn't taken a taste of it, but he could feel it on his tongue just by memory. He didn't know why everything was going out of his control. He needed to control things. He needed to know that everything in his life was a certainty. He recognized the steady steps reaching him.

"You want to tell me what is wrong with you?" Sophie asked him harshly.

He shrugged. "Nothing"

"You can't tell me it's nothing. First Eliot, then Hardison and Parker. They left Nate. The only people you could considered your friends, even family, have left." She shouted. But she noticed that her words weren't having an impact on him.

She sighed trying a different approach and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know what's going on in that head of yours but you need to pull it together for all our sakes."

"Do I?" he finally looked at her. "Let's face the truth, we are better off alone." His cold eyes scared her a little. She had rarely seen that look on him, but when she had seen it, it usually towards one of the marks. The ones that really deserved Nate's wrath.

"What are you talking about?"

"I want to be alone. That's what I'm saying. I never wanted another family. I had one, I lost it and that's it!"

"And that's it!" she replied sarcastically. "And what exactly have we been doing in the last four years? Wasting time?"

He shrugged again snorting.

"Wow, that's an eloquent response. We've built a family, Nate. I realized it's not a conventional family but it's our family."

"It's not Sophie. We have just created an illusion so we couldn't realized we are screwed up people who deserve to be lonely"

Sophie tried to hold back her tears. "You don't really think that."

"Yes, I do. Eliot will be happier in some mysterious part of the world doing God knows what to people, Parker can go back being a loner and stealing painting, Hardison is better in a closed room playing with his computer and his imaginary friends and you can go back to Europe flirting with rich people and have the thrill of stealing from them…"

"and you?" she whispered.

"And I can stay here and do what I do best, drink." And took a sip of his drink to make a point.

"So this is your plan; spend the rest of your days in this bar and drink to death."

"Yep, that's my plan."

"and what about us?"

"What about us?" he raised his eyebrow.

"You really want to throw our relationship away."

"What relationship, Sophie? Last I've heard we were just sex buddies."

The hard noise of her hand connecting with his cheek rebounded in the empty bar.

Nate brought a hand to his face and smirked at small blood coming from his split lip.

"I'm sorry" Sophie tried to apologized seeing that she actually hurt him. It wasn't the first time she hit him, sometimes for real sometimes for a con, but this time she really put a lot of force into it and she felt slightly sick that she actually hurt him. " I don't know why…" Of course she did. His words hurt her and she wanted to hurt him back. For him to feel the same pain she was feeling in that moment. It was better than his cold and blank eyes.

"Just go Sophie. Leave me alone. There could never be anything between us. I can't see a marriage, house and kids in or future, so why bother." He turned around and started drinking again.

She could barely say her next words from the large lump in her throat. "I don't know why you are doing this but I hope it's worth it for you. Congratulation Nate, you have finally managed to alienate everyone who gave a damn about you. Enjoy your miserable and lonely life."

And she left the bar without looking back.

And now with Sophie also gone, Nate was alone like he thought he had to be. There are better off without me, he kept thinking. They don't need me and I don't need them. He lost count of the number of glasses full of scotch he drank, but when no liquid came out of the bottle he realized that he had finished it. He wobbled behind the counter to take another one he opened it and this time he didn't bother with the glass and drank straight from the bottle.

"I need some air" he said to himself and got out of the bar in an ungraceful manner into the cold air of Boston.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

He walked around the city. Boston, his birth city. He travelled all around the world, he visited beautiful and magnificent places, but Boston would always hold his heart. He had bitter sweet memories here. His childhood hadn't been perfect. His mother had tried to give him a normal life, but he knew what his father did for living and after his mother had died there was nothing keeping him there. L.A. had given him a wife and a son, his family. But it had also taken them away from him.

He had an horrible aspect, he felt terrible too. The few people that were still walking around the streets avoided him like the plague. Not that he was bothered with them. No, his mind was elsewhere.

"_Parker is in trouble". Archie's voice echoed in the phone. "If they find Parker they're not going to arrest her, they'll kill her!"_

"_I have to go back….. it's what we do" was Parker response._

Nate shook his head trying to get the memories out of his head. He took another swing from the bottle hoping that the bitter taste would help.

"_Eliot, are you okay?" asked the little girl. Then Nate could here Eliot's grunt of pain through his com as Molly's kidnapper hit him._

_He approached the hitter walking slowly helped by the girl. He was badly beaten with blood covering his face._

"No," Nate shouted. He didn't want to remember.

_Nate woke up disoriented and with a big headache._

"_Where's Hardison?" he asked. Eliot shook his head._

…_._

"_Okay, Hardison, listen to me. The important thing is to stay calm. We are going to find you."_

…_._

"_You have to make it through this... Because... Because you're my friend, and I need you. Do you hear me, _

_Alec? I need you!" Parker pleaded._

They had nearly lost him that day. He had nearly lost another son.

…_._

"_Yep, that's a bomb." Eliot confirmed. He watched the vase that Sophie was holding. Nate wished he could trade place with her._

"_All right. Everybody get out of here right now." Sophie ordered_

"_I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna stay with Sophie, all right?"_

" _We're not leaving you, Sophie."_

"_Nate, please"_

He sometimes could still hear the loud noise when the bomb went off.

…..

"_Parker, is that blood?"_

"_Yes, I have been shot"_

And yesterday he had nearly lost his daughter.

He didn't know how long he kept walking, for minutes or maybe hours, but he came to an abrupt stop when he found himself in front of a familiar stairway. He looked up and saw the strong thick wooden door. Should he enter? It had been a long time, maybe too long, since he went inside. After a long debate, he wobbled up the stairs and with caution he pushed the door. His scenes were soon filled with the smell of old and incense. Slowly he approached the benches. His hands caressed the wood that felt cold under his fingers. It brought back long gone memories of his childhood spent as an altar boy and then as a young seminary student. He sat heavily on one of them, head between his hands and started sobbing.

"It has been long since I've talked to you" he whispered. His voice though was loud in the desert church. His faith had left him that same day when his son's heart stopped. Or maybe it had been before that, when the doctor told them that there was nothing they could do to save him. His prayers had felt helpless, and he wondered if now they meant something. He lost his faith the day he lost his first family, what if losing his second family meant finding it again?

"I need some guidance. Have I done the right thing? Was alienating everyone in my life the right choice?"

He looked up towards the altar, trying to see a sign.

"Dad" a voice startled him.

"Sam?" he asked incredulously. Was his mind playing games on him? Did he finally lose it? There in front of him was the image of his son. His eight years old son, just like the last time he saw him.

"How can this be possible?"

He attentively lifted his hand trying to touch him, but it had been in vain. His hand went right through him.

"You can't touch me, dad" Sam chuckled. "I'm just an hallucination in your head"

So now he really drank too much. He knew it was only a matter of time before the alcohol caused him serious damage.

"An hallucination? Why are you here?"

"Because you wanted answers, so here I am, even though I'm only in your head!"

He grinned at his son's cockiness. "I miss you" he finally whispered.

"I know. I can feel it every time you think of me. Mom too."

"You should pay her a visit. See how she freaks out!" Nate smiled.

"Mom doesn't actually drink so much to cause hallucinations"

Nate soon felt ashamed and looked down at the now empty bottle. He really didn't want his son to see him like this.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"Nah, it's okay." Sam shrugged "It's your life. Grandpa used to drink a lot too."

Nate gasped. Now that had been a blow. Nothing could stir him more than being compared to his father.

"You should have your liver checked in your next check-up. Just saying. And you should start eating more of Eliot's cooking and a bit less of junk food."

"I don't think Eliot will cook for me anymore." He sighed "Or anybody else"

"Yeah, you screwed up pretty bad" Sam agreed.

"Don't swear!" Nate soon told him off.

"I'm in your head. It's practically you swearing" he defended himself.

"So what should I do?"

"Apologizing it's usually a good start. Then present… lots of presents!"

Nate chuckled. "I don't think present will help. Maybe with Parker. And Sophie if it's shoes or jewelry."

Sophie… The horrible things he said to her. Will she ever forgive him?

"She might if you tell her how much you love her." His son's voice answered for him.

"I don't know if I can" he confessed. "I had a family, I was happy and then I lost it all. I don't want to have it all again just to have it taken away from me. It hurt the first I don't think I can go through with it again. I'm not that strong"

"So it's better not to love if it then only causes suffering."

"Yeah, like I told Sophie. It's better to be alone."

"Is it? Aren't you suffering right now? They haven't been gone for over a day yet, but you already miss them. Is this really how you want things to be?"

"I'm like this. A drunken bastard. Don't really know how to change"

"First of all you have to start letting go of the past, dad. That life is gone and it's not coming back. Mom and I aren't going to magically reappear in your life"

Nate slowly lifted an eyebrow in question and smirked.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm not really here, am I? The only thing you can do is to enjoy the second chance you were given. But first you have to forgive yourself"

"I can't… I… Eliot was right. I should have kept one of those paintings… if only I hadn't been such an honest guy, I could have saved you…. I should have saved you."

"Nothing would have changed. That was my time. I knew it, more importantly you know it now. It's time to forgive and move on"

"Since when have you become so wise"

"Don't you get it. It's just your head talking. You already know all these things. You have known them all along. You just have to start listening to yourself."

Nate sighed. "I'll try."

He looked back at his son. He felt so real. "I love you, I don't want you to go"

"I'm not really here, never was" and he disappeared from in front of him.

Tears filled Nate's eyes again.

"Sir" a priest walked over him. "Is everything alright?" he asked concerned.

"No, but it will be"

He suddenly felt sobered up and determined. He was a man with a mission.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sophie was abruptly woken up by the banging on her front door.

"Sophie" she heard Nate shouting from the other side. "Sophie, open up, please"

She quickly opened the door, hoping that Nate's shouts hadn't woken her neighbors up.

"Nate, shut up, you idiot" she dragged him through the door and closed it behind him. "Do you know what time is it?"

"Thanks for opening the door." Nate smiled at her.

"It's not like I had choice. You could have woken everyone up. Now, you can go away" she tried to push to the door. "If you remember you told him that you wanted to be alone and I'm pretty mad at you right now"

Nate grinned at their compromising position. Without realizing it Sophie had pinned him against the door. He leaned towards her to kiss her. She felt the familiar pull towards him, but as soon as the alcohol on his breath invaded her senses she pushed away from him.

"Nice try mister!" she sighed running her hands through her hair. "Nate, leave please. You are the last person I want to see or talk to right now. Your words hurt me and I don't think I can forgive you this time"

"I saw Sam" he suddenly blurred out.

"What?" she looked at him confused.

"I saw Sam, Sophie. I've talked to him" He answered smiling. "Well, he kept insisting that he was an hallucination inside my head and that he wasn't really there, but I have to believe that it was him"

"How much did you have to drink?"

"A lot... like really a lot, but that's not the point" he dismissed her. "I..."

"Did you hit your head somewhere?" She went next to him and started checking for blood.

"Soph..." he caught her hands. "I'm fine. I entered a church and asked God for answers and he sent me Sam"

Sophie looked at him doubtfully. She had never been a religious person. She knew that Nate had a strong faith when he had been younger. That's probably how his mother had raised him, but he had lost if when Sam died. She wondered what had bought him to a church that night.

"Nate, I don't understand..."

"Neither did I, but Sam explained everything to me. I was being an idiot"

Sophie chuckled. "I could have told you that, God didn't need to send you Sam to tell you that."

"I'm sorry." he finally told her. "I know that my words can't really make up for the horrible things I've told you before, but Sam said that apologizing was probably the best start"

Sophie looked at him shocked. If it was something she had learned about Nathan Ford is that he never apologized.

"Did you hallucinating son told you something else? Because he seems to me he is very wise"

He grinned. "He told me that I should give you presents... lots of presents."

"That's good, because I've got a list of thing that you could buy." she smiled, but then she realized that they needed a serious conversation.

"Nate, look..." she sighed. Where to start? "I'm glad that you finally found some light in your drunken stupor, but I can't just forget the horrible things you've said to me"

Nate lowered his head, defeated. He knew that things couldn't be so easy.

"What can I do to make it better, Sophie? Please tell me, I will do anything."

"Don't say things like that Nate. Not if you don't know the consequences." she warned.

He took her hands in his and she gasped. "I mean it Sophie, I will do anything."

"First of all I need an explanation, Nate. What trigged all this? Because I know something happened, don't deny it. You can be a bastard, cold and insensitive but you are not crazy, at least not yet. Something did happened"

Nate sighed and walked away from her.

"Don't shut me out Nate, please. Not again" she started crying.

"Do you remember what we did two days after the chocolate festival job?"

Sophie tried to remember the day he was talking about, but she couldn't really think of something special.

"We went to the ice-rink, all the team." he prompted her.

She suddenly started to remember. "Yeah, we had fun that day."

"That was the problem!"

_"Whose idea was this?" Sophie started complaining again as she struggled to put her ice skates on._

_"Parker's"_

_"Hardison's"_

_The thief and hacker shouted at the same time pointing at each other._

_"Oh, come on" Parker whined "It will be fun"_

_The ice rink was desert, Nate made sure of it. They had all the place for themselves._

_"Here," Nate bent down to help the grifter with the skates. "Let me do it"_

_After a couple of tries, Sophie finally had the skates on and stood up wobbling a bit, but Nate had a firm hold on her._

_"Hey, there"_

_"Thanks" she smiled and gave him a quick peck on the lips._

_"Yuk," Hardison complained. "Now that we know about you two, it doesn't mean that we want to say any PDA. Please, refrained yourselves from any kind of touching and kissing."_

_"Hardison!" Nate strong voice warned him._

_"Shut up?"_

_"Yep"_

_"Okay," The hacker skated away joining Parker and Eliot who were already skating without trouble at the center of the rink._

_"You want to join them?" Nate asked her._

_"I've told you that I have never gone ice skating before. I could have just sat on the benches and watched you guys."_

_Nate smiled and they slowly made their way towards the ice. "Come on, Sophie live a little! Or are you scared?" he kept walking taking Sophie with him_

_"Nice try, mister. But reverse phycology is not going to work with me" she glared._

_"Are you sure?" he smirked. "Because you are already on the ice"_

_As soon as she realized where she was she started panicking and slipping without control._

_"I'm here" Nate kept her steady. _

_"Don't let go." She shouted throwing her body at him_

_"I won't, I promise. Now try to find a balance." He separated a bit from her. "Don't put all you weight at the center, lean a bit forward. Yes, like that"_

_Sophie soon felt a bit more secure._

_"Now let's try to move a bit. One step at a time" _

_They slowly moved. Nate skating backwards while guiding Sophie carefully. _

_"Hey, I'm skating" She smiled feeling quite accomplished._

_They were going slowly and her clumsy movements couldn't actually be considered skating, but Nate couldn't help smiling at her enthusiasm. "Yeah, you are skating. Want to try a bit on you own?"_

_Sophie looked at him doubtfully but she slowly let go of his hand. It felt a bit strange standing on her own feet without a firm grip on something. She tried moving, imitating what she saw the others doing._

_one step, two steps three... but then she felt slipping and with I quick movement she fell on her behind. _

_Nate saw the all scene and unfortunately he was too far away to catch in time._

_"Are you okay?" he skated near her and kneeled down._

_Sophie slowly nodded. Her behind hurt a bit but her pride received the worst impact. Nate helped her up._

_"I want to go back." she complained. "I don't like it."_

_The mastermind sighed. "Sophie, you can't give up at the first fall. Let's try again."_

_The grifter shook her head. She knew she was acting like a small child, but at the moment it didn't really bother her._

_"One last go? I promise I won't let go this time"_

_Reluctantly she agreed and slowly they did skated around the rink. They could hear the other three laughing and screaming behind them. Eliot had bought some hockey sticks and a puck, and they started playing. When they completed a round, Sophie let go of Nate's hand. _

_"I'll go off the ice now. You can go and play with them"_

_"Are you sure?" He wanted to make sure, even though he secretly wanted to join the others. Their slow pace kind of bored him, but the fact that he had the chance to have Sophie in his arms the all-time made it up for it._

_She patted his chest. "Yes, go and join the kids!"_

_Her words bothered him but he took a stick laying on the floor and joined the others. _

_They played a two versus two game, with Eliot and Nate on one team and Parker and Hardison on the other. _

_The hitter and the mastermind won and Parker and Hardison weren't happy about it._

_"Come on, Dad. You can at least buy us an ice-cream" Hardison joked._

_But in that afternoon, Nate realized that something had changed in the team's dynamic. Something that scared him._

"That afternoon I realized that we were a family. We were the parents and Eliot, Parker and Hardison were the kids."

"Is this because I told you to join the kids, or because Hardison called you Dad, if so..."

"Yes and no." he interrupted her. "I didn't want to get close to you, to all of you. It was becoming a familiar and dangerous territory. I had already lost a family. I didn't want to have another one to have all you taken away from me. We always find ourselves in dangerous situations. Eliot gets beaten all the time, Hardison nearly died in a coffin, Parker got shot yesterday, you risk your life every time you talk to a mark. You have always made it but how do I know that one of these days you aren't going to die? And I can't lose you, it will hurt too much." He started crying.

"Oh, Nate..." She put his head on her chest on stroked his hair. His tears leaving a wet trail on her robe, but she ignore it. "It's okay, it's okay" she calmed him like a mother would to a child.

"I'm sorry..." he lifted his head drying his eyes with the back of his hand. "I..."

"Nate, I can promised you that everything will be okay, no one can. But you can't live alone and just don't take any risks of loving again. Life doesn't work like this. You think that if one day you hear the news of Hardison or Parker or Eliot dying, it would hurt less? Why? Because you weren't there? It won't, I can guarantee you this!"

"I know, that's what I've realized tonight. I don't want to live like this anymore. I need to make some changes in my life, to let go of my past and start living again." He looked at her straight in her eyes and gently stroke her cheek. " I need you to help me"

"Me?" she replied in disbelieve covering his hand with hers.

"I love you, Sophie"

He finally told her the words she so longed to hear.

"About time" she smiled and gently kissed him. "I love you too. And we will make you better, together." she promised him.

Nate stole another kiss from her trying to put into it all the things that he couldn't still put into words.

"So, what now?" she asked.

"We will go find the others. I need to make some apologizes." He felt tired and he need a long sleep." But that can wait until morning" He got up from the hard floor and helped the grifter.

"Let's go to sleep." she dragged him towards her bedroom.

"I heard make up sex is always great!" he exclaimed.

Sophie chuckled and lightly smacking him on the arm. "In your dreams"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Finding Hardison and Parker hadn't been so easy, especially without the Hacker's skills. It took Nate and Sophie a couple of days, but Nate used all his IYS training and finally found them. It felt like when he had been chasing thieves all those years back.

The hacker had tried very hard to cover their tracks, but they finally discovered where they were staying. They walked the halls of the hotel in Las Vegas and they knew they would find them down in the casino. Hardison probably hacking the casino's computers and Parker trying to pick pocketing her unknown victims.

They grinned when they saw the thief stealing a wallet from the jacket of a middle aged man who was distracted by the slot machine.

"Sophie!" She shouted once she saw the grifter at the entrance.

Parker ran towards her and threw her arms around her for a big hug.

Sophie stumbled a bit "Hello to you to Parker" she laughed.

The thief turned to hug Nate but then stopped remembering that they were supposed to be angry at him.

"Hi, Parker" he said a bit embarrassed after Sophie gave him a small nudge.

"Hi" she replied back. "Hardison is so mad at you."

Nate sighed. "I know. How is the shoulder?" he tried to change subject.

She shrugged but soon regret it after it caused her some pain. "It's healing. We came here because I need to see a lot of money to cheer me up. Hardison is in our room trying to hack the casino's security, so we can steal a lot of money tonight." Then she looked at Nate with a frown. "You're not going to stop us, are you?" Hoping that the mastermind wouldn't spoil all her fun.

He smirked. "We'll see. Parker, I need to talk to Hardison."

"He is in room 304, but I don't think he will want to talk to you. I've never seen him so angry."

"I know." He suddenly felt uncomfortable standing in the middle of all those people. He saw that the bar was empty "Can we go there?" he nodded towards the vacant table.

Sophie tensed. That was only his third day sober and he was slowly going through alcohol withdrawal. The flight over there had been awful, he felt sick a couple of times. His hands trembled and he had sweat through the all flight. She tried to cover it up with the flight attendant telling her that he had the flu, fortunately she had believed her.

"Nate, do you think it's a good idea." The more he stayed away from bars the better it was. That's why in the days they had spent looking for Hardison and Parker he practically lived in her apartment.

"Sophie, I'm not going to just throw myself towards a bottle!"

Parker looked at them in question.

"I'm trying to get sober. Again." He explained.

Parker looked hopeful. She really didn't like how the alcohol changed Nate in the last months. She hoped this time he was going to stay sober. Maybe with Sophie at his side, he was going to make it.

They sat at the empty table and fortunately a waiter didn't bother them asking for their orders.

"I need to apologize to you, Parker" Nate finally broke the silence. "I shouldn't have sent you in the building without a proper plan or some kind of back up. I'm sorry that you got hurt in the process"

Parker looked at him strangely. Nate never apologized. "Are you okay? You don't apologize"

"I need to solve some things. I've finally realized that I've made a mess of my life and that I hurt you guys. I'm sorry."

Parker nodded. "Apology accepted"

Nate smiled at her, grateful that it had been easy. "Thank you"

"I just want us to be a family again. I miss us." She whined.

"I know, honey" Sophie covered her hand with hers.

"I'm working on it." Nate reassured her.

That's all Parker needed it to know. If someone could do it, it was Nate.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Nate knocked at the door.

"Coming" he heard the hacker at the other side.

Hardison opened the door, but as soon as he saw who it was, he tried to closed it again.

"Hardison, please" Nate put a foot at the door to stop him.

"I don't want to hear whatever you have to say to me. I'm done" the hacker replied harshly.

"Alec, I'm sorry"

Those words caught him off guard. First he called him by his first name then he told him was sorry. Something that Nate never said.

"You never..."

"…apologize. Yes, I know. I wish people would stop tell me this!" he sighed. "Look, I acted like an idiot"

"More like an ungrateful drunken bastard"

"I guess I deserve that. I had some issues and instead of solving them like a normal adult person, I lashed out on all of you. I, for this, I apologize, it was uncalled of."

"Wow twice in less than a minute. What happened to you?" Hardison kept studying trying to see if he was sincere.

"How do I know that it won't happen again?"

"You don't. All that I can do is promising you that I'm getting help. I've been sober for three days now. It has been difficult, I keep craving for a drink. But Sophie helped and she is helping with my other issues too"

Hardison still wasn't convinced.

"I panicked, okay! When I realized that we, the team, had become a family, I panicked. I had already lost one family and I wasn't ready to lose another one, so I sent you all away instead of dealing with it." he looked down "Sometimes you so remind me of him" he confessed.

"Sam?"

"Yeah, I can sometimes see him in you"

Hardison was touched by his words. "Look man, I'm sorry..."

"No, it's my problem. Instead of embracing the idea I just ran away because I'm still attached to my past. Like I've told, I've got some issues to work out. I'll try"

The hacker nodded in understanding.

"For now I just want the team to be back together. Forgiven?"

Hardison still studied him, but he then smiled and pull the older man in a hug. "Yeah, forgiven, but if you pull something like this again, I'm so going to kick your ass!"

"Okay" he hugged him tight. His son was back.

"And now?" he asked after they pulled apart.

"And now let's go steal a hitter!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

If it had been difficult to locate Hardison and Parker, finding Eliot had been impossible. When that man wanted to disappear he really did.

Having Hardison on their side helped. He had managed to trace his steps up until Europe, then they were gone. A week after they left Las Vegas, they found themselves in a hotel in Kiev, dangerous place. Nate had been anxious the all time they stayed there. His desire to have a drink getting stronger and stronger. Sophie noticed his problems and tried to distract him using the only thing she could give him: sex, not really happy of trading one addiction for another, but they could work it out once the team was back together.

Sophie and Nate entered an abandoned warehouse waiting for one Sophie's, or more precisely Annie Croy, contacts.

"You shouldn't have come with me" she hissed.

"There was no way I was going to let you come here without back-up. Made that mistake once, I'm not doing it again." He replied back looking around him.

She decided to drop the subject, for now.

"Annie Croy" a voice called behind her. They quickly turned around.

"Alexis, nice to see you again" she lied. She had always hated that man. He couldn't take a no for an answer, but he was the best contact she had in Kiev.

"Who's this?" he pointed at Nate.

"My associated; Tom Baker. He is the American that needs to find Eliot Spencer."

Alexis eyed him. "What do you want from him?"

"I'd like to hire him for a retrieval specialist. I've heard he is the best." He replied back.

"He certainly is" the man agreed. "He had gone for a while, but he has recently started working again."

"You've told me you had seen him" Sophie tried to get answers.

"Yeah, I saw him a week ago. He was working for some Russians. Not the kind of people you want to mess with. I told him to stay away from them, but he didn't listen" he shrugged. "His problem"

"Where can we find him?" Sophie questioned.

"You mean if they haven't killed him yet?" he smirked and Nate tensed beside her. "They wouldn't risk taking him to Russia, they are probably still here in Ukraine. Someone told me they have some proprieties around here. I would try there first, it won't be easy to get him, though"

Sophie nodded. "Thank you, Alexis"

The man suddenly grabbed her arm. "Hey, this information isn't free, you know?" he pulled her towards him. Nate quickly tried to hit him but Alexis pulled a gun out and he pointed it at him. "Don't try to play hero, lover boy"

Sophie struggled in his tight grip. Then she remembered Eliot's teachings. She kicked Alexis hard and kneeled him in the stomach.

Nate reacted quickly and after taking the gun out of Alexis hand he punched him on the nose.

"You son…" he shouted with a bloody nose.

Nate shot at the ground next to the man's foot. "The next time I will aim at your knee. Now run" he ordered.

Alexis didn't have to be told twice and he run outside.

"Well, I won't be using him as an informant anymore"

"Nice moves, there" Nate smirked. "Remember me not piss you off again" He clean the gun and threw it away.

"I like it when you play the hero." She smiled and reward him with a kiss.

"If you two are done flirting." Hardison's voice in the coms interrupted them. "I've got some address to check out. You know, if we want to get to Eliot before it's too late, just saying"

"We're coming"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"I can see him" Parker exclaimed through coms. "He looks pretty beaten up. He is tied to a chair."

"Parker remember, just observe." Nate reminded her.

Parker rolled her eyes. "Yes, no going in alone or intervening. I get it. Now shush, I'm trying to listen."

This had been the second address they checked. It was an old building just outside the suburbs of Kiev. Nate studied the building from outside. They weren't many points of entrance. Parker had gone in through a small open window on the top floor, he was certain Eliot couldn't go through it. How to get him out?

"What are you thinking Nate?"

"It's going to be nearly impossible to get him out" he sighed. "Parker, how many men can you see?"

"There are a couple in the room with him. Then I saw three in the hall."

"Plus the two outside." He added. "Seven men, at least. This is a job for Eliot."

"We can't con them. These are the type of guys that shoot first and ask questions later."

"Parker" Hardison suddenly intervened. "Are they wearing a wire?"

"What?"

"Have they got some earpieces?" he explained irritated.

"Yes, I think so"

"Okay, I think I've got their signal. I can scramble it and distract them, then we intervene"

"Intervene with what?"

"I've got my tazer!" Parker added enthusiastically.

"Of course you do!"

"I've told you to keep that gun!" Sophie reminded him.

"I don't go around shooting people"

"Really? Because I've still got that scar from Paris!"

"Guys, guys!" Hardison shouted. "back to the problem. Hey, it's four of us and seven of them. We can take them"

"Have you noticed that they are armed?"

"Have you got any other ideas?"

Nate tried to think of a better plan, but nothing came to him. "No"

"So that's it. Let's do it!" Hardison got off the van and started working on his tablet PC.

"Wait a minute, Hardison" Nate stopped him. "Sophie and I are going to take out the two guards outside first"

"And how are you going to do that?" Sophie asked.

He smirked "Do you remember Dubai?"

Sophie grinned and started working her magic. She unbuttoned an extra button of her shirt so that you could now clearly see her cleavage and she lifted her skirt slightly . She slowly approached the two men.

"Can you help me please?" she asked them.

"Madame you can stay here" one of the guards shouted.

"But I'm lost" she distracted them long enough.

Nate walked behind one of them and punched him unconscious. Before the one could react Sophie kicked him and Nate punched him a couple of times sending him k.o.

"All these punches are hurting my hand" he complained.

"Later I will kiss it and make it better. Now, let's go!"

Hardison joined them and the three of them went inside the building. They saw the three men in the hall.

"Hardison, you can have the one on the left. Sophie, you have the one on the right. I'll get the middle one."

"Why do I have to take out the biggest one?"

"Hardison!" he whispered.

"Yeah, send they black guy after the incredible hulk!"

He scrambled the signal and soon the room was filled with an annoying noise.

The three of them attacked the thugs and after some punches and kicks they finally won.

They heard some noise coming from behind the door.

"Parker" Hardison opened the door.

Parker stood between the two thugs lying unconscious on the ground, flashing her tazer.

"That was fun!" she smirked.

Nate went to untie Eliot. "Let's hurry!"

They quickly dragged Eliot away and drove off.

"I can't believe it that that actually worked" Nate sighed relieved.

"Does that mean I'll be planning some cons from now on?" Hardison asked enthusiastically.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Eliot woke up disoriented. He immediately knew that he wasn't tied to the chair in that cold room. That left him unsure. Where was he now? He tried to sit up, but his all body hurt. He groaned in pain and brought a hand to his chest. He felt the bandages beneath his hand. Somebody had stitched him up. Who?

He slowly looked around and recognized the familiar room.

"Welcome back" Nate told him from the chair next to the bed.

Eliot grunted. "What are you doing here? Why am I here?"

"You scared us a bit. You slept through all the flight here. Actually you have been sleeping for nearly two days. We were thinking about taking you to an hospital"

"You don't like hospital"

Nate smirked "Yeah, there's that too."

"How did I end up here?" He didn't like feeling helpless.

"Funny you should ask that. It hadn't been easy to find you. Really, you made it nearly impossible. We contacted one of Sophie's old informants. He told us how you got involved with some Russians. We've found you in an old building badly beaten up, liberated you and brought you here."

He made it sound so easy. "There were nearly seven guys, how did you free me?"

"With a lot of punches and kicks. Those lessons you gave Sophie and Hardison really paid off. And then you know how Parker is with a tazer"

"Why did you come after me? Not that I don't appreciate the help"

Nate sighed. "I was an idiot. I shouldn't have ask you to beat me up. I realize it must have been difficult for you and I'm sorry."

"Did you actually apologize?" he looked at him stunned .

"Yeah, that's been happing a lot. Some things have changed. I want to bring the team back together."

"I quit for a reason and I can't go back my decision."

He knew that convincing Eliot would have been more difficult. "I don't know what to say to you to make things better. I've quit drinking"

"Your drinking is not the problem. Nate, you've got some serious problems to work out"

"I know. I'm trying. Sophie is helping. I've gone back to church, maybe finding my faith again will help. I could maybe use your help too."

"How?"

"You know how to let go off the past, you have gone through with it too. Sophie says I might be suffering from PTSD. Do you remember the day we all went to the ice-rink?"

Eliot nodded wondering where he was going with it.

"That day has been my trigger. I've started losing control that day. I won't go into details yet, but I'm getting better."

"Look Nate, I'm sorry for you, really but..."

"We need you. The first job we did without you Parker got shot"

"What? Is she okay?"

"Yes, just a small graze on her shoulder, but it could have been worse. It could happen worse."

"You are not going to guilty me into coming back"

"You can't blame me for trying."

He sighed. It was really tempting. He missed all of them. His first job back as solo hadn't gone well too.

Suddenly the bedroom door opened.

"Hey, you're awake" Parker shouted and jumper on the bed.

"Parker, be careful. He is still injured." Nate warned her.

"We've missed you sparky" she hugged him. "Don't you disappear like this, understood?"

"Yeah" he saw Hardison and Sophie enter the room too.

"Hey man, you scared us. For someone who sleeps only ninety minutes a day you certainly slept like a log"

Hardison hugged him.

"I preferred sleeping than listening to your weir nerd stuff"

"You wound me, man, really"

Sophie patted his shoulder affectionately "Everything okay?" she sat on Nate's lap.

"Yeah," the hitter smiled "never better."

"Yes, the family is back together!" Parker exclaimed putting an arm around Eliot and the other one around Hardison.

Nate looked at all of them. Yes, that was his new family. He understood where he belong now and nothing was going to keep them apart.

He placed a small kiss on Sophie's cheek. "Yes, it certainly is!"

THE END


End file.
